Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Motherhood and Perfect Moments

The days are long, but the years are short. I hear this all the time and I know it's true. I can already feel myself wistfully reminiscing about the newborn days, while loving my toddler and preschooler with my whole heart. These years where you give yourself completely and unselfishly to two small and dependent people- with the awesome responsibility of developing them into good people- can take its toll. There are days when every moment goes as planned, but many (many) more days that aren't picture perfect- those moments that are loud, chaotic, messy, full of tears and tantrums. There are days when folding and putting away tiny laundry is the biggest accomplishment.  
The other night we planned on getting our tree after Nick got home from work. As I went through the evening of trying to feed Charlotte an early dinner (which she didn't eat), changing her diaper as she tried to kick me, and wrestle her into her boots and hat, facing a terrible tantrum, neither of us were in the mood for that perfect family outing of picking out our Christmas tree. But tonight had to be the night... as she threw several tantrums during the process and screamed all the way home, I couldn't help feeling frustrated about the "ruined" night and our bad moods.  
I got her ready for bed before we even took our tree inside. Soon after I closed her door, I began to hear her wailing "momma" over and over again from her room.  
I pulled her out of her crib and she clung tightly to me as I rocked her in the soft glow of her night light. We listened to some quiet Christmas songs while I rubbed her back and she clutched my shirt, gradually drifting off to sleep. With this sweet head of curls nestled on my chest, I let go of my frustrations of the day and felt grateful for this quiet, rare moment with my baby. She's nearly 2 and I know our nights of me rocking her to sleep are becoming increasingly rare. I cherish these peaceful moments when it feels like we are the only ones in the world and when I'm reminded that these times are the most important. 

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