Monday, December 10, 2012

It's that day...

The day I've been dreading since Hayden was first put in my arms. I'm going back to work today and leaving my baby for longer than a few hours for the very first time since his birth. Luckily, Nick has taken a couple days off of work to help ease the transition. But, still.... Mentally, I've tried to prepare myself, but I just can't seem to imagine what it will be like to be separated for 8-9 hours a day. I have become so firmly attached to this little boy that the thought of not being present for so many of his waking hours makes me feel so very sad. As much as I have always loved being a teacher, I have never been happier or more fulfilled in my daily life than in these past four months, when my sole job has been to be a mama to my sweet baby boy. 
While part of me is grieving for the end of our time together, another, more logical part of my brain lists all the reasons why this will be okay. "You have a great babysitter who will take such good care of him; your job ends earlier in the day than most, so you'll get to have afternoons with him; you used to love your job and probably will find that you still do when you return to it; you have a great support system to help you through; It's only 2 weeks until Christmas break..." I'm trying so hard to listen to that logical part of my brain! 
I also feel guilty just writing about this. So many other mommies don't get 4 months off with their babies, let alone 4 weeks!  Many others have jobs that keep them away each day for so much longer than mine. Plus there are so many worse problems to have in the world. I know that I'm so blessed with the life that I have and my perfect baby boy. I know that we'll get through this transition and adjust accordingly. Anyway, if you could please send a few positive thoughts, prayers, etc. our way the next couple weeks - we would so appreciate it! xo






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